Keep your head above water and count the positives.

I realized today that summer began for me 52 days ago. I also realized (just now) that I have 49 days left of summer until I head back for training for admissions. Summer is more than half way over.

I have been to the beach four times. One of those times was in Rhode Island so I’m not sure that even counts towards taking advantage of the multiple beaches within 10 minutes from my house.

I had sunburn… I had worse sunburn and then I had a slight tan to my skin. Right now, I’m a combination of lots of sun-induced freckles (mostly from my 2 mile walk to work each morning) exhaustion, and bliss.

You read that right: bliss. How do you stay sane when you’re used to working 2-jobs and bringing in tons of money, and suddenly, you’re working full-time and bringing in no money (no money… like for shoes!)? How do you stay sane when you’re used to lazy summer days on the beach after a year of absolute non-stop school, work, school, work, exams, honors thesis, school, work? How (when you’re me) do you stay sane when it’s mid-July and you’ve yet to step foot in Yankee stadium?

You lift your head above the water and count the positives.

Over the past year I’ve tried to live by the “don’t stress out over things you have no control over” mantra. For someone who is usually neurotic and needs to have control over everything, this has been a challenge – but a challenge well worth it. The idea is that if you stress out over the things which you don’t have control over, you’re going to negate the things which you do have control over… things which could be positive for you.

Right now, I have no control over the fact that I have little time for a job which makes money – I am an intern. However, if I started to stress out (too much) over that it would negate the amazing experience I am having as an intern at WPIX-TV. Learning outside of the classroom is by far the most beneficial experience any one can have, especially in this business. Just last week I was sitting with a veteran reporter, who I have come to admire greatly, practicing tracking and my “reporter” voice. She was giving me tips on my tone and inflection and how to give something energy without sounding too high pitched. Every time I go out on the field with this reporter, or sit and chat with her about the career choice I anticipate making, it reminds me that I am in the right place. It reminds me that I am capable and competent, and that my childhood dream is really close to becoming a reality … how cool.

To tie in with that, with every benefit and reward comes a cost (hello business courses at Bryant University). Working 40+ hour work weeks means no time for the beach, but it also means 40+ hours of experience, knowledge, and insight into the field I wish to make a career out of.

Aside from all that, I’ve learned that it is incredibly important to figure out what and who is important in your life and try your damned hardest to make time for it. I’ve slowly but surely over the past year been realizing who gives as much as I give in my various relationships and friendships, and who is worth going the extra mile for – who makes me happiest because those are the people worth going to be a few hours later even though I have a 6 a.m. train, and the people worth making time for.

It’s particularly important to maintain a balance of work and friends/family. There are plenty of nights where I get home and want to crash, but a phone call or a Skype conversation or even just an hour out for some frozen yogurt is worth fighting the exhaustion. You have to make time for yourself, time for your bliss… or you’re going to go plain insane.

For me, the past 52-days have been all about that balance, all about keeping my head above water. I spend little time complaining (I won’t lie, I do complain sometimes, like when I was sick for 3 of the 4 weeks of June, bleh) and more time focusing on what’s important and making me happy.

No matter how frustrated I get when my bus from Providence to NY is 3 hours late (no control over it, no control) and I miss all the LIRR connections to Lynbrook until 3 a.m. with work at 8 a.m., the weekend before makes it worth it… and it’s really important to remember that.

The work-week might exhaust me, but it only takes one Saturday with the entire family laughing, eating lots of food and watching a movie in sweats to put it all into perspective (and cause me to need to start running again, ha ha).

My summer thus far may not be like summers past with endless beach days and lazy nights, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t come without its positives: mom’s surgery went amazing; our family was all able to get together for Grandma’s big birthday celebration; cute summer shoes (that was expected, right?); a boyfriend who easily makes me forget about my daily 3 hours of hellish commute M-F when the weekend comes and we’re together; friends that make me laugh; and my freckles—because even if I don’t get a tan this summer, they come out like crazy in the slightest sunlight, giving me the fake appearance of a tan at least on my face!

Life doesn’t come without frustrations or negatives, but if you focus enough on the positives and the happier moments, it does a lot to make the other stuff bearable.

P.S. Today my tuition bill came in and textbooks for the fall were listed — I think I’ll take my own advice now and go back and count the positives! 

Coming home.

“It’s a funny thing coming home. Nothing changes. Everything looks the same, feels the same, even smells the same. You realize what’s changed, is you.”

Coming home every summer since I started college has always brought its ups and downs. Freshmen year, I was newly independent, but not yet immersed in a world where mom and dad weren’t always around to tell me what to do – heck, I still talked to my mom 4 times a day at school and called her before I made any decision. Sophomore year, I got my first internship and after two years away at school, I really started to become adjusted to living life on my own schedule. This was the summer I decided I’d fight with my mom every single day. Literally, not one day went by where I didn’t get aggravated and explode on her… most of the time for no reason. I was really starting to grow into myself and all the changing had me thrown for a loop. When it came down to it at the end of the day, I cried my eyes out when mom and dad moved me back into school and I felt bad for being such a brat the entire summer. Since then, I’d like to think I’ve really grown up.

This year at school, I took on two jobs and became even more involved than I already was in the past two years – seemingly impossible. Needless to say, I really started to bask in my own independence and enjoy living life on my own schedule. Except now I’m home again, and while no one is exactly telling me what to do on a daily basis, or questioning me (thankfully), it’s the little things that get on my nerves – though I wish they wouldn’t.

That’s what I think makes growing up so tough. There are so many voices in your head, how do you know which one is yours?

Does it aggravate me when its 7PM and we haven’t even discussed what’s for dinner yet? Absolutely. But I need to remind myself that there are now 4 other people I need to consider – and that we never eat before 7PM for as long as I can remember. I struggle the most to deal with the fact that I need to do things for myself when it’s convenient for everyone else, and that is so selfish and I really am trying to be understanding. If I want to go for a run at 5PM, it doesn’t matter because  my brother might have work at 530 and my dad might need the car at 6 – I need to work my own agenda into everyone else’s—and I’ve spent 9 months having to do nothing like that.

I’m going to make it my own goal not to let the little things aggravate me this summer. I think once I start my internship and I’m commuting in and out of the city 5 days a week things will feel more independent for me. The beginning is always the hardest, right?

Aside from all of that, I’m starting to get a small hint of a tan– mixed with the worst sunburn ever (surprised? me either). I’m hoping tomorrow I can spend a few hours at the beach(provided the burn is gone completely).

With that said, I’ve got a busy week ahead: I’m heading to Rhode Island Wednesday-Saturday, Sunday Bre goes to prom with Charlie, and Monday, June 6 I start with WPIX. I’m nervous, I won’t lie. I’m really good at school; I’m good at Bryant things, what if I’m not good at this?

I know that probably sounds silly, but I can’t help but be a little nervous. Traveling into the city alone is something I’ve done forever, the walk from Penn to Grand Central might be a little tricky at first, but I’ll catch on. I just hope I can shine at WPIX and excel at anything handed to me the way I’ve been able to in school and at Bryant.

For now though, I’m going to try not to over-think it… which is funny considering it’s me and I over-think everything… 

Backtrack, end of summer and Bryant bound!

This post will be long. Let us go back a few weeks…

Despite how terrifying the ending of my last Yanks game experience went, I decided to go to another on August 18. They were playing the Tigers, and my cousin Kristin was coming up to visit. My dad scored us pretty sweet seats down in the lower level and me, my parents and Kristin went. Unlike last time, the Yanks won.  The game was incredibly exciting because it wasn’t one of those games where they win by a landslide, or no one scores—it was full of some incredible plays (Granderson was on fire) and the fans were amped.

Kristin stayed with us for a few days—we went out to dinner a few times, and went shopping—yes, I bought shoes (that is 112 pairs for those of you counting). The morning she left, the family got in the car bright and early to head up the Lake George for vacation.

We stayed in this great place near the lake and the village and despite some rain it was a ton of fun. We skipped the whole amusement park bandwagon and did some other fun things. We had wanted to go white water rafting, however the rain kept us from it—maybe next time. On the way home we threw around the idea of going snow tubing during my break in the winter, so I’m pretty psyched about that. Oh, I forgot to mention—I bought shoes (113). However, these were totally necessary shoes, it rains at least once a week in Rhode Island and they are new rain boots!

I also bought this sweet Yanks pennant that is currently displayed proudly on my desk… but I’m getting ahead of myself, I’m not up to Bryant yet…

After vacation, it seemed as if time was flying—as it always seems to do once August hits. (In other random news my laptop keeps changing my font to Chinese).  Most days, I hit the beach early in the morning to work on my pastey skin—I got decent color. I spent my last days home packing up all my clothes—I will admit, my compulsive and borderline obsessive packing before I left Bryant was a huge help—everything was so neat and organized (and labeled!) in the basement so I really only had to pack up clothes.

I guess now I’m up to BRYANT!

Last semester, I nervously applied for a highly competitive position in Admissions as an Admission Fellow. Out of all the applicants, they only hired 6 people for the job. I was so excited when I got the phone call offering me the job. I remember being so nervous when I saw the number in my caller ID and then being ridiculously happy with the news. As a result of this position, I get to move-in to campus early. Training began on September 2, so I moved in on the 1^st.

My mom came storming into my room at 5:30 a.m. to tell me we were “late.” Evidently my dad planned on leaving at 4 a.m. because he “doesn’t drive in traffic.” So we hit the road a little bit later and finally got to Bryant around 10 a.m. I checked in with Admissions, got my key and all that, and headed to my room.

I walked in shocked. Mina and I are in the 240s again, this time in Hall 4—so once again we took room 1. However, it took me about 2 minutes of standing there to figure out why the room looked so small—the beds weren’t lofted. “Ohhhhh Daddddyyyyy—wouldn’t you LOVE to loft my bed?!” After about a half hour of moving furniture the room started to look the way it should. I was there for about 2 hours before Mina and I used that time to put away my clothes—that takes the longest.

As I’ve said, I’m compulsive and obsessive—I organize my closet by work suits, dresses, going-out clothes, sweaters and coats… it took me about 3 hours to unpack my clothes into my closet and drawers— well worth it though because I was so organized that I have more room to buy new things! (Cue my dad’s excitement!)

I only brought up about 60 pairs of my shoes—they all look lovely inside my closet :) My parents were actually a huge help this year—my dad napped and surfed the internet after moving in my stuff and my furniture and my mom helped me get organized in my room and in the bathroom. She also always makes my bed for me (in my defense, its super high and annoying to make all by myself). Mina showed up at some point and with the two of us getting to work, it really started to look like home!

The two of us have a knack for decorating our room extensively—lots of pink and lots of pictures on the walls. This year, I even got these great frames with wall quotes that read “Always kiss me goodnight,” and “Chase your dreams.”

Keep in mind that it was 98 degrees out on move-in day. I can’t believe I didn’t mention this sooner. My body was dripping with sweat—and we had three fans! 

I obviously cried when my parents finally left around 7 p.m. We did a target run and had Chili’s for dinner, picked up my refrigerator from Mina’s sorority’s storage unit and then they hit the road.

We finally went to bed around 2 a.m. because we obviously needed our room to be perfect! The next day I had work at 9 a.m. until about 4 for training and I picked up my new laptop.

The past few days I’ve been alone, messing with my laptop, putting up my frames and organizing my planner. I’ve color coded my schedule, figured out which hours I can work in the Writing Center with Admissions, and my tour time (Mondays at 2 p.m.).

Today the freshmen moved in! I was sitting in the tent in the lot handing out ID cards from 7 a.m. until about 3. I had a ton of fun with it—it was great to see students I have been in contact with, such as Kelly, and it was also fun to create my own matches with their cards—freshmen, if you’re reading this, I may have found your soul mate today via your ID card!

Tomorrow the rest of Bryant moves in, I’ll be swiping keys in Bello most of the day—it’ll be nice to see all my friends as they move-in. As of now, I’m sitting in the room, it’s cooled off substantially now thanks to that “hurricane” last night. I’m super excited to see all of my friends, and to be able to be set up and ready for the first night of shenanigans with the girls without compulsively worrying about if my room is all set.

I’ll keep everyone posted on the new job, and life at Bryant—I’m certainly looking at a ton of work in my classes and 20 hours working a week, but I love being busy. In the next few weeks I also find out if I was accepted into ODK and I have my first e-board meeting for Communication Society on Wednesday! My planner is filling up—but I’m looking forward to it!

 

*P.S. all of these photos were taken on my new, super amazing camera! Mine met the toilet last semester (it was very old) and my dad’s met Lake George. So, last week I had to bite the bullet and buy a new one—which I love!

Loving my internship, dreaming of camp, and everything in-between.

Disney on Ice, Jan 2010. Yes, that is a Mickey crown-- I did warn you, I'm 10 at heart.

I preface this post with one simple fact: over the course of the past week, I have slowly, but surely, drifted into a child-like state. Some updates and thoughts…

First of all, I openly admit to still possessing all the classic Disney movies, on their original VHS, and the fact that I’ve been averaging one a night since seeing Toy Story 3. This seems to be getting in the way of my normal evening activities, such as reading, living life outside of my bed, oh and seeing my friends. Nonetheless, this is what has been happening.

You’re currently wondering about two things right now, aren’t you—my internship and camp (if you weren’t, you might as well stop reading now because that is exactly where this is heading).

My first story was printed this week! As I sat at work last Tuesday during production, going over the various pages with Mary, including my own 2-pages, it didn’t exactly hit me what was going on. On top of all that, Mary told me that out of all of the photos taken by several photographers, the photo I had taken of Marc Wolf, the man I wrote about in my blog about the wall, was absolutely great and was going to be the cover photo. The cover photo. My first story, covering the Vietnam Moving Wall Memorial in Lynbrook, was in this week’s paper. Even though I knew this, when I picked up a copy of the paper I was still amazed to see my name. It looked so great—looks as if I need to start putting together a portfolio—right after I figure out what that means and how to do so!

So that was lucky right? An intern getting a chance to write a story—that’s some once in a lifetime luck. I thought so too. To be honest, I figured I was just helping out because Mary was in between reporters and she needed someone to cover the story. However, I’m currently working on about 5 different stories, have completed a handful more, and I have another 1-page story that was sent to print today for next week’s paper! The Jelly-Bean story, as Mary and I have been calling it, is a story about a local artist who creates murals out of jelly beans—yum! She was really such a sweet lady and I actually found her incredibly fascinating—it took forever to cut my story down to the amount of space it took up! It looks great. Unfortunately, it will come out when I’m at camp next week, so my mom has been instructed to make sure to grab 2 copies, or else.

The week I’m gone isn’t even stopping me from getting stories done, Judy, the editor from the Rockville Centre Herald, told me today she’d like to use my story on Skelos and the moving wall (remember, when everyone was jealous he called me back) next week, and last week I finished up a story on 3 recipients of the Girl Scout Gold Award in Lynbrook, and finally finished that story on the book on Long Island Sports. Post-camp, I’m looking at a list of stories to start working on: a potential story on Five Star, and a Neighbors page for camp among others, oh, and I’m looking for some good “summery stuff,” if anyone has any news or information on fun things going down in Lynbrook/East Rockaway for the summer, let me know!

I’m not going to lie; I’m going to miss my internship while I’m away at camp. I was half tempted to see if Mary needed me at all on any other day this week—but with Kyle’s prom and graduation exploding in my house, I figured it’d be a little too stressful on dear old Deb. Don’t worry though, I just emailed Mary reminding her where the Gold Award story was (my folder—yeah, I have my own folder, exciting!) and let her know if anything else was needed to be worked on that I’d be around until Saturday. I suppose there is no reason to complain that I love what I do right? I truly enjoy getting up in the morning and heading into work, it helps that I’m good at what I do, but also that the work environment is so relaxing and rewarding! I have been learning so much its incredible, and I can’t wait to learn more! Today, after we finalized the paper and were waiting on a confirmation on our front, I even got to help Mary pick out shoes for her daughter Brianne’s prom and score her a hair appointment with Lenore!

In other news, there are FOUR days until camp. I am so excited I can hardly contain myself. I leave bright and early Saturday morning for counselor training and bonding and team building and all that fun stuff, and Sunday morning the kids get there! Yesterday, I went to Wal-Mart (oh gosh did I regret that—I’m literally scared of that place now) and picked up this awesome beading kit that makes over 1,000 bracelets! Hopefully that will keep my girls occupied during the random time periods we’re in the bunk. I love my girls, but 15 girls running around the bunk naked for an hour before dinner is a little stressful!

Rusty asked us to come prepared with a fun game for Free Play hour, I found an awesome one—Vloketball. It’s this crazy combination of volleyball and basketball—I have a feeling the kids are going to love it. I also found a bunch of fun games that we can play in the bunk, or outside and grabbed the supplies I need for those. I wish I was already there. I’m more excited than I have been any other summer—which leads me to believe this will be our best summer to date!

I still haven’t figured out how I will be blogging at camp– I absolutely am going to though. Perhaps I’ll try to bring my laptop, or blog from my phone (which could be annoying) or hand-write my thoughts and post a series of blogs when I get home… we shall see.

Fun fact: Steph wants to create Team Edward t-shirts to wear at camp on June 30 in celebration of Eclipse! (I really don’t want to talk about the trauma I feel over the fact that I have to wait until July 3 to see it). She gets home tomorrow and Logan came home Sunday—it’s so great to have everyone back!

Now I’ll enter into the world of Kyle’s prom and graduation, coupled with packing and grandma’s birthday—the next few days should prove to be a test of my patience! With any hope my dad wasn’t joking when he said “beach tomorrow?”

Oh and, to my boys in blue—pick up the slack here, I’m not sure what is going down with your inability to score some runs against the D-backs, but it’s the damn D-backs! C’MON. I actually got a text today from a Sox fan trying to tell me the Sox are the hottest team in baseball right now—HA. I guess when you make it out of 4^th place for the first time in weeks that counts as “hot.” What about the last 100 years? Right, that’s what I thought. I digress. Basically, just win. Please and thank you.

I’m positive there will never be a time in my life where 8 a.m. is acceptable.

At the risk of sounding like my mother, I am literally exhausted. The rents decided to spend the past couple days in Atlantic City. Now, this is all well and fine and I’m of course willing to help out; however, I just wish my darling younger siblings would help out more. I came home to a sink full of disaster, a living room in shambles and let us not even go into the vile things on the kitchen table– mind you I cleaned everything up before I went to work. Bre took care of that though, placing her dirty dishes in the dishwasher… with the clean ones. Her response: I didn’t know they were clean– gee, ya think the green light that says ‘clean’ was a give away… I digress from this rant.

Anyway, some updates on my life as an intern: I found out that the story I wrote on the Moving Wall Memorial, which took place in Lynbrook last weekend, is set to be printed in this week’s paper—Lynbrook/East Rockaway, check it out! There is also rumor that it may be reprinted the following weekend in all the Heralds—talk about awesome.

Today, after missing my exit oh I don’t know, three or four times on the way to work, I finally arrived at the office, and right away Mary handed me a potential story. She has been so great; I’m learning a ton and she is giving me so very many opportunities. Chris Vaccaro wrote a book which was published in September about the history of high school sports on Long Island. We were mailed a press release and a copy of the book and Mary had never gotten around to going through it and writing up a story. This meant that I got to do it. After going through the book it came to our attention that not only could this story be used in our paper, but also in the other town Heralds—another awesome stroke of luck.  I emailed the publicity manager of the author and she got back to me with Vaccaro’s number, so tomorrow at work hopefully I can finish up that story.

Not to plug his book, but I’m totally going to plug it. It’s called History of High School Sports on Long Island. Essentially, it is a pictorial timeline of sports on Long Island, following record breaking athletes from the high school field, as far as the Olympics. I was able to read through it rather quickly, and I truly did enjoy it. If only I could get myself to continue reading A Tale of Two Sisters—I usually speed through books, but this one is taking me a bit to get into for some reason. I won’t quit though, I don’t like starting a book without finishing it.

In other news, we were sent a great photo of Sen. Dean Skelos at the Moving Wall this weekend—apparently he had been searching for, and found, the name of his childhood friend. This had the potential to be a great story for the Neighbors section, so Mary asked if I could try to get into contact with him and get some information. Well, I called his offices and told his secretary why I was calling and who I was. She transferred me, and I was told by someone in his office that he would try to contact him in Albany and conference me back. Within a few minutes, I was chatting with the Senator and apparently making the entire office jealous due to the fact that they haven’t been able to contact him. I suppose you just have to sound like an innocent little intern and politicians will give you a call back, huh?

It was an all around exciting day for me at the office—I even finished that story by 4 o’clock in the event that some of the editors had space for it this week—but it will definitely be printed next week. I can’t wait to see my name published in the paper and start saving all of that—it’s such a different feeling then when I was writing/editing for my high school paper—I feel like I’m making more of an impact and that more people will get to hear what I’m saying—it’s awesome.

I felt as if I was ready to pass out by the time I got home—this weekend was my first weekend working back at Five Star, and I had that camp meeting on Saturday—I totally forgot how tiring it all is. Hopefully tomorrow night my head won’t kill this bad—the Yanks are playing the Phillies—certainly can’t miss that one. Speaking of the Yanks, looks like they’re finally back in first—tied with the Rays—but at least back where they rightfully belong. I won’t lie; I might be a tad more fearful of the Rays this season than ever before—maybe even more fearful of them then of the Sox… dun. dun. dun. I have complete confidence in the boys though, what other team can say that despite their top guys being out on injury for a good part of the season they are still on top? I absolutely can’t wait until playoffs start up and I’m back at school brawling it out with my Sox lovin’ friends.

The countdown is on: 11 days ‘til camp. For now though I think I’ll start that scrapbook I spent all my money on supplies for…

And one last thought, why is it that I hear more about Gary Coleman now that he has passed away? Let the poor man rest, the media frenzy is getting a little absurd.